Poor you.I can't let Sid near Son 1's room just now.His bin and the floor near the bin are overflowing with used tissues*. The dog adores used tissues.  

*he had a cold, you vile creature

I'm sure I didn't think it was for any other reason.

Tissues are the bain of my life,do you think that dogs like a bit of salt?

Salt, and anything that spreads yucky things all over the floor.

Wispa likes crayons,which makes for a lovely rainbow coloured deposit.

Our last dog Henry liked them too. It meant that walkies often held a degree of suspense. 

I once pulled a whole balloon out of Wispa'a ar*e.

You win the disgusting dog game. Sid hates balloons. Watching them getting inflated anyway. He hates the idea of them bursting suddenly, so he feels he should shout his concern whenever you're on balloon duty. It doesn't help much.

I cant say i blame him,the squeaking when you touch them makes me heave,they are banned in the house except for birthdays.

I don't mind them on birthdays, but the sodding things live forever. There is always a balloon gently deflating somewhere in our house. 

I find carving knives are a good solution.

To a lot of things.

It's important to keep them sharpened for any eventuality.

Always.

Off to feed my fat face now.

There's nobody here!!! I've had to do housework, cook and write letters! That's no way to spend a morning.

Because there is this philosophy thing I have to do for Friday. I had the subject more than a month ago, and still, I have done nothing but writing the subject on a piece of paper... "Comment parler de ce qui n'existe pas ?"... Or, in English, "How to speak of what does not exist?"... Huuuum... By not speaking about it at all? (something's telling me my Philosophy teacher would not be that glad if it was my answer)

You can stretch out the not talking idea for a few sentences, I reckon, but after that you're on your own. 

Helpful Dawn. How much do you have to come up with?

It is supposed to be a "dissertation" (is it an essay in English?), so at least 6 pages. Gonna kill myself.

Then everyone woud be talking about your non-existence. To be, or not to be. I guess it's a bit too tempting to start talking about existence, though then you're kind of off-topic. But you have to have some kind of reference point.

Yeah, I was planning on talking about the dead at some point. How they are not there anymore but we still talk about them. Lies and metaphors also seem to be some kind of an element to answer. Ah, I hate philosophy!! (which is a lie, actually, I quite enjoy it. I just hate feeling guilty to be there instead of working lol)

Yes, I suppose things exist in our minds whether they're real or not. 'Je pense, donc je suis' could be extended to include the nonexistent! 

(sorry, I do this when my son doesn't know how to start something, so that he can dismiss my waffle and go off to write the essay properly)

I'll creep away from philosophy now and wash my dishes, as they're all too real.