Pathetic?

Pathetic is calling people out for not being a certain type of fan.

I would like to just feel good when I listen to Keane. I have had so many bad memories of the old board and how fans dissed other fans both on and off the board thinking they were the best fans and were the only one's who deserved to be in fhe front row. It is exhausting to be around that kind of energy.

Also, I am choosing to identify with Keane's humor now becasue that is what I feel like focusing on at the moment, I compared my life to them in terms of problems and you know what, I really don't know what their lives are like. I can think I know, but I don't. It is pointless to believe that if you know more about the band that you will get more out of the music.

You get just as much if you choose to form your own opinions when you listen to the songs.

This type of conversation, this topic, is the one thing that has made fandom into a competition of who is the best fan. It's ridiculous. The internet makes it easier for this to happen.

However, there are also positives. You meet some nice people sometimes.

I met some great people in DC that were all from this board. And at some point I hope to travel to other countries to meet more Keane fans. But until then, I will choose to have fun while being a fan. And if you can't stand that, that's your problem.

 

 

 

muuzyq:

Pathetic?

Pathetic is calling people out for not being a certain type of fan.

I would like to just feel good when I listen to Keane. I have had so many bad memories of the old board and how fans dissed other fans both on and off the board thinking they were the best fans and were the only one's who deserved to be in fhe front row. It is exhausting to be around that kind of energy.

Also, I am choosing to identify with Keane's humor now becasue that is what I feel like focusing on at the moment, I compared my life to them in terms of problems and you know what, I really don't know what their lives are like. I can think I know, but I don't. It is pointless to believe that if you know more about the band that you will get more out of the music.

You get just as much if you choose to form your own opinions when you listen to the songs.

This type of conversation, this topic, is the one thing that has made fandom into a competition of who is the best fan. It's ridiculous. The internet makes it easier for this to happen.

However, there are also positives. You meet some nice people sometimes.

I met some great people in DC that were all from this board. And at some point I hope to travel to other countries to meet more Keane fans. But until then, I will choose to have fun while being a fan. And if you can't stand that, that's your problem.

 

 

 

Well said, Muuzyq!

LisamarieC:

muuzyq:

Pathetic?

Pathetic is calling people out for not being a certain type of fan.

I would like to just feel good when I listen to Keane. I have had so many bad memories of the old board and how fans dissed other fans both on and off the board thinking they were the best fans and were the only one's who deserved to be in fhe front row. It is exhausting to be around that kind of energy.

Also, I am choosing to identify with Keane's humor now becasue that is what I feel like focusing on at the moment, I compared my life to them in terms of problems and you know what, I really don't know what their lives are like. I can think I know, but I don't. It is pointless to believe that if you know more about the band that you will get more out of the music.

You get just as much if you choose to form your own opinions when you listen to the songs.

This type of conversation, this topic, is the one thing that has made fandom into a competition of who is the best fan. It's ridiculous. The internet makes it easier for this to happen.

However, there are also positives. You meet some nice people sometimes.

I met some great people in DC that were all from this board. And at some point I hope to travel to other countries to meet more Keane fans. But until then, I will choose to have fun while being a fan. And if you can't stand that, that's your problem.

 

 

 

Well said, Muuzyq!

Thank you for supporting me.

I hope other people can feel like they can enjoy themselves without having to justify it.

 

I don't think people should have to justify their 'fandom' or whatever they want to call it.  But as I've posted upthread, I do think that all of us fans should be a bit self-reflective about our level of fandom.  Is it healthy?  Is it working for us?  Are we getting what we want out of it?  It's very easy to get carried away (whatever your level/definition is) with fandom and the celebrity culture with the advent of the internet and a lot of information instantaneously. 

I guess that's all I've been saying all along.

Yes. And yes.

We all should be self-reflective about how we are as fans. The following of what I have to say is not about anyone in this thread. However, it must be said. I think some fans are misguided and feel that they are not as obsessed as the fans they talk about as being fangirls. But the truth is, they are just as obsessed, if not more so. They want to know more and more about the band's lives and worse they think they are entitled to that information because they care about the music the most. That is the reality.

Me, I'm a healthy fan. I keep my distance. And I feel the band has it's right to it's privacy. The less they tell me about themselves the better.

 

I agree, muuzyq.  And that goes for fans of pretty much any band these days.  Perhaps that's why even though I've been online for years, this is the first band website/forum I've ever actively participated in for more than a month or so.  I was on the Depeche Mode (e)mailing list for years, but that was before the Web took off.  I have an account on Coldplaying.com, but got quickly bored of the level of minutiae posted about every. single. thing. having to do with the band or the members.

 

 okay gals.  i hope this is cool. i am okay just !!! i'll try to be good and quiet.  i will write a bit later but just wanted to put that out there. sorry again. see you soon..

Feel free to use PM if you aren't comfortable posting in the thread, L_B.  Though I think you should be fine.  *hug*

 just did. thanks...

lord_byron:

 okay gals.  i hope this is cool. i am okay just !!! i'll try to be good and quiet.  i will write a bit later but just wanted to put that out there. sorry again. see you soon..

I'm glad you're ok. I was a bit concerned.

And don't worry L_B. Things happen for a reason.

If you hadn't started this thread I would have never been able to say anything about what I have been grappling with for the las couple of years and it all had to do with relationships I had with the fans of KMB.

I used to get into arguments with people when certain issues came up. This being one of them. But at the time, I just had pure bitter anger and could never really get my point across.

I'm glad that I am making sense now and I hope that when people read it, they will think about what kind of fan they want to be. I think that is important considering that this topic comes up every couple of months.

 

 thanks, 'girl' (this is how i talk! haah).

yeah, i just need to chill out. reading this thread i sound like some smart a** phychotherapist  or writing a paper (which i am but it wil NOT be this! i would need any kind of permission from my uni to do that just want to assure folks).  also, everyone wont like the same thing and i have to be okay with that and not force anything on anyone (which was my own contradiction in was saying before about not forcing people to feel music in a certain way). okay. enough.. goodnight all. i do hope marinaa, muse-ic and b0red are okay too.

muuzyq:

Pathetic is calling people out for not being a certain type of fan.

You mean sane? Yes I will call people out on that bullshit. You're welcome to call me pathetic for that; in fact, I welcome it.
Stalking their house, putting them up on false pedestals (ie ignoring all the negative stuff bc it doesn't line up with the ~*perfection*~ that is the object of their worship) = bad.
Being a huge/enthusiastic fan = fine.

Dionysia:

I don't think people should have to justify their 'fandom' or whatever they want to call it.  But as I've posted upthread, I do think that all of us fans should be a bit self-reflective about our level of fandom.  Is it healthy?  Is it working for us? 

^ that.

b0red:

muuzyq:

Pathetic is calling people out for not being a certain type of fan.

You mean sane? Yes I will call people out on that bullshit. You're welcome to call me pathetic for that; in fact, I welcome it.
Stalking their house, putting them up on false pedestals (ie ignoring all the negative stuff bc it doesn't line up with the ~*perfection*~ that is the object of their worship) = bad.
Being a huge/enthusiastic fan = fine.

Oh, that is what you are talking about? Well, I can understand why you'd be upset about that, but at the same time, I can't understand why people feel the need to say something directly to the fan they think is obsessive. Unless the fans they are talking about are talking about harming the band, then I could definitely see saying something. But from what I've seen on this board, I haven't seen any fans saying anything about harming the band so I say live and let live. But to each her own. 

Also, I know I come off as preachy, but honestly, I had to say all of this stuff and get it out. It's been building up long enough.

lord_byron:

okay. enough.. goodnight all. i do hope marinaa, muse-ic and b0red are okay too.

 

I'm fine, l_b, thanks for asking!

I still read this thread but did not post again because I was under the impression that it was my long post which made things go wrong here... Sorry about that.

Every single person has their own relations to the music and the band, that's a fact. I just think that some fans are a bit scary and wanted to talk about it but if it made some people feel bad, then I'm sorry. I don't have a lot of friends because people always tell me I'm way too hard with people. It saddens me to see it is again the case on a message board... XD

Dionysia:

But muse-ic, what 'truth' is there to accept?  Who isn't accepting that the band members are (just) human beings, who make mistakes? 

Can we agree that there's a wide range between 'he's perfect!' and 'he's a junkie'?  And that most of us fall somewhere in between, closer to the 'he's a brilliant musician' middle?

Actually I agree with your 2nd paragraph.

I've seen many fangirls who won't accept the truth if that's an untouchable issue for them. Or if they know that he has a problem, then they say they won't listen to Keane anymore, because he doesn't fit their idol image. Can you believe some people won't listen to songs by their beloved if their idol get married? I'm speaking about general, not only about Keane. It's kind of all manipulated by media and [off topic] in my country many people listen to American and UK / western pop music because it's English and listening to English is considered cool. The funny thing is that they usually say they don't care (or don't understand lol) about lyrics. If they say they are only interested in music, not lyrics, then that's fine of course. But I'm disgusted with this country manipulated by media (or manipulated by the authority: off topic.)  If you listen to Keane because they are English (it's cool!) and a piano band (it's classy and posh!) then I wonder whether they really listen to their songs (or they just want to think that they listen to better music), and it's sad.

muuzyq:

It is pointless to believe that if you know more about the band that you will get more out of the music.

Who said that? It's the contrary, I want to know about the band so I can get to know more about music. I don't think you are preachy, why we have to excuse ourselves for saying our opinions.

I don't post much but this was an interesting topic (thanks LB)  which took a long winding road going noone-knows-where-and-why, so a mental exercise is needed to bring it back on track.
On.Topic.My.2.Cents.
Regular music fans: People who need the presence of music in their lives. They buy CD-s, go to concerts, listen to music on the radio, while driving, etc. They have huge music catalogues at home but they don't necessarily need much information about the artists or buy their memorabilia, they don't usually wait for being first row at a gig or getting autographs. They just enjoy the music of various styles and artists.
Die-hard/Hard-core fans: They have a special attitude to 1 or 2 bands. They need to know all the information about the band members, their influences,bios, families,etc...they buy merch, share thoughts about the band on forums, support the band by buying every released album and single, voting for them, attending gigs, 2-3 or 53 in a row, who cares? It's their life and money. They wait long hours before the gig to get the front row and long hour after it to see their favourites. They would go on a rock pilgrimage to places, related with the history of the band.
Fangirls/boys: Usually teenagers who still haven't experienced their first love. Some of them a bit shy and insecure dreamers, who substitute dreaming of being a Batman/Catwoman with dreaming of meeting the right man/woman and live happily ever after. Others are just adventurous, spoilt starlets of all sorts and origin. They would go for any star who seems secure, hip, hot or not and can easily change their mind about who they are in love with - the singer, the drummer, the guitar player,....or the manager,the roadie,the site admin...or maybe a member of another newcomer band.
Groupies: I think it's an archaic word. They were a kind of collectors of all kinds of stuff but autographs, inspiration/muses for the artists.Just google some famous groupie names like Pamela Des Barres or Penny Lane:

http://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/books/features/pamela-des-barres-her-latest-book-celebrates-the-outrageous-unsung-exploits-of-her-fellow-bandaids-464542.html  

http://www.pennielane.com/ 

Even if some nowadays act like "groupies" in the sense of trying to get closer to the band, getting noticed and taken to the tour bus, for example, using all possible ways....I'm not sure that soil where Keane tread is "groupie"-friendly. But it is die-hards- friendly.

There used to be a site where "groupies" told stories about their "conquests". I'm not sure if that's what's left from it but I checked - no Keane in it.

http://www.voy.com/85692/

Stalkers: People with mental issues, who think their "victim" owes them everything in life and sometimes they personify them with the famous person. They may even kill that person or their relative. Those people should get counselling before it's too late.Top 10 stalkers:

http://investigation.discovery.com/investigation/crime-countdowns/stalkers/stalkers-01.html

All the social sites like Myspace, Facebook, Twitter provide a lot of information about the artists. The most famous ones use automatic machines to reply/ advertise or use the services of special staff to do that. So, the information provided by them there is used mainly for the purposes of promoting and selling more stuff, getting to more people via the Internet. It's just an illusion that social networks are "stalker's" or "fan's" paradise. If they are properly run by good professionals, they are just money-making instruments.
End.Of. Comment

^^I don't think it's always that cut-and-dry though; I don't think all people fall into only one of those categories.  I think a lot of people would say they fall into the first 2 or 3 categories at the same time.  For example I'm die-hard Beatles fan but also a "regular music fan" (if there is such a thing! ).   I think that yes, social media sites like Facebook, etc are just tools to market and popularize a band, but I think the internet in general contributes to people possibly being more than just "regular fans" because you have instant access to a wealth of info like pictures, interviews, etc. 

@muse-ic - I do agree with you in that one of my personal pet peeves is people who only listen to a band/style of music because it's cool to do so or diss a certain band/genre because it's considered not popular or cool.   To me that's not what music or the enjoyment of music is about.

@ cowpie21 Yes, you are absolutely right about the merges among the categories. It's not always that simple. The same fan can be, let say, a fangirl of X, a die-hard of Y and a regular fan of a dozen of bands from different decades. Or a fangirl may evolve into a die-hard or degrade into a stalker. Anything is possible.

Internet may facilitate your access to music and information but in the case with artists you never know if you are talking to the real person, one of their assistants or a robot/machine. The magic of the personal touch is lost.

muse-ic:

muuzyq:

It is pointless to believe that if you know more about the band that you will get more out of the music.

Who said that? It's the contrary, I want to know about the band so I can get to know more about music. I don't think you are preachy, why we have to excuse ourselves for saying our opinions.

I'm only saying that I was preachy because I used to get into arguments with people online. I know logically people are agreeing with me or disagreeing with me in a typical conversational way. I won't appologize again. You're right, no one should have to appologize for having an opinion.

As for knowing about the band's personal lives, yeah, I think it's pointless with exception to UTIS which was based on Tom's addiction to drugs. The other albums could be about anyone.

And also, what I'm talking about are people who think they are the best fans because they cared about the music the most, or so they said. They thought they were the "best" fans. The "real" fans. That they were entitled to the band's time to talk where as anyone else was not good enough or too stupid in their opinion to have the same opportunity. I hope that people who had that attitude grew up because quite frankly, the sense of entitlement will get you no where. And it makes you look arrogant. I don't think arrogance is a great quality. Confidence, strong opinions, sure, that is admirable, but just plain arrogance to the point where you feel you deserve more of the band's time and attention then anyone else is not a good quality. In fact, it is very immature. And I pity people who feel the need to be arrogant to get by in life. They are missing out on getting to know people of all walks of life that listen to the same band that they do. But again, if someone wants to live their life that way, far be it from me to stop them.

muuzyq:

people who think they are the best fans because they cared about the music the most, or so they said. They thought they were the "best" fans. The "real" fans. That they were entitled to the band's time to talk where as anyone else was not good enough or too stupid in their opinion to have the same opportunity

Reminds me of what me & my mom overheard in the bathroom after the LA show in May.
Now, this might not be word-for-word as it has been some months but here is your rough translation
"It's going to be much better tonight meeting them"
"Yeah I know right! The others aren't here to ruin it for us"