Come hither, all lost and lonely souls, and lay your thoughts on the Sooz. 

Dear Aunty Q,

with advances in modern medicine how long do you recommend running a husband for before trading him in?

Mr D

May I recommend Cryogenic Preservation? Said spouse could be frozen thus leaving bored wife the time and money to pursue a younger model. I'm sure in about 100 years the bionic technology will be there to rebuild and improve decrepit bones.

Great advice Aunty Q!  But would we be able to defrost a spouse in a microwave? Sometimes i have the timer on a little bit too long and things go rather soggy!

And do you find that if you're trying to defrost a sausage, sometimes they start to cook a little bit? 

*vegetarian face*

ooh yes! And they spit out and sizzle!

A spitting sausage is certainly something to avoid.

Perhaps i could defrost Mr T (and his slug pellets! Do they freeze btw?) outside, as we don't get any warm weather here in Dover and he could thaw quite happily and the salty air would do him good!

I think Sooz will have to advise on the merits of dealing with Mr T's salty slug things outdoors.

 

Yes any advice is much appreciated! On that note, i wish you goodnight and hopefully i won't dream of frozen men with spitting sausages and salty slugs!! Night Night xx

Dear Aunty Q,

which is the best brand of aftershave for a man to wear?

Mr D 

I would advise anyone wishing to defrost their husband outside to do it with caution. If it is done over too long a period his edges might start to curl up and if it is done too rapidly then food poisoning could occur. As for the aftershave, I would recommend Old Spice...... If I was 70 and had no sense of smell that is.

Dear Aunty Q,

when your wife falls asleep during Mad Max 2, is it safe to wake her?

Mr D

suzieq:

I would advise anyone wishing to defrost their husband outside to do it with caution. If it is done over too long a period his edges might start to curl up and if it is done too rapidly then food poisoning could occur. As for the aftershave, I would recommend Old Spice...... If I was 70 and had no sense of smell that is.

Thanks for the advice, not sure i can cope with curling edges and i don't want food poisoning, it might wreck my garden!!

p.s. Can you still buy Old Spice????

Oh yes, you most certainly can.  There was a new advertising campaign fairly recently, which featured a guy in a towel claiming you would be as desirable as him if you wore that particular aftershave.  It was rather hilariously taken off by the muppets...the advert, that is, not the towel!

Amethyst:

Oh yes, you most certainly can.  There was a new advertising campaign fairly recently, which featured a guy in a towel claiming you would be as desirable as him if you wore that particular aftershave.  It was rather hilariously taken off by the muppets...the advert, that is, not the towel!

Haha I love that! Not seen the ad yet as i normally switch them off! I'll look out for that (the ad not the Old Spice, i mean). Didn't the original advert have some guy coming out of the waves or something? Or was that something else??

Brut

Denim was the one for the cool trendy guys. Hai Karate was what Seventies dads were given for Christmas. I don't know if I want to sully such precious memories with modern Old Spiciness. 

I was always a fan of Blue Stratos!

Jules C:

I was always a fan of Blue Stratos!

my sister likes the smell of fear on a man